Sunday, March 23, 2008

So I Turned 24....

So I Turned 24…

“Nurse!” yelled the doctor as he stood their sweating; his hands shaking. He had asked her to retrieve something very crucial otherwise; one of his patients might not make it. “What was I thinking?” he muttered in to himself. He couldn’t let the patient know that he was starting to get nervous. The trembling hand, holding the needle, inched closer and closer, when all of sudden, the nurse burst through the door holding a bottle of Russia’s best, 40 80 Proof Vladimir Vodka. Everything was going to be ok.

The doctor took three swigs and preceded with the delivery. He poured a shot for the mother-to-be. She was getting a little cranky and needed something to calm her down. The father-to-be came prepared. He drank in the car while he was driving them to the hospital. The nurse took a baby bottle with warm milk and began to mix it, drop by drop with the vodka. This baby was going to be thirsty when he would come out of the womb.

This common misconception of a how Russian’s give birth is a false. The hospitals can’t afford to use real milk, so they use powdered milk instead.

Twenty four years later the baby is now writing this blog. He, of course, is no longer a baby, but he has yet to earn the title of being called a man. In Russia he would have wrestled a bear when he was 14. It was hard to find a bear to wrestle in America. My parents took me to the circus, after a failed attempt at the zoo, but things didn’t go as planned there either. Police were involved, but by the time they got there, I had only managed wrestle with the bear for a mere 11 minutes and 32 seconds, instead of the full hour and half that was needed. The bear came out alive, but not unscathed. He hobbled away with a broken paw and a chipped tooth. Embarrassed by the entire situation he now sells medical insurance in Madison, Wisconsin.

Life is too short and I need to start completing my goals. Mark my words, by the time I turn 25, I will have wrestled a bear.

35 comments:

Holly said...

Ill put on a bear costume and we can wrestle if you want :) j/k
Glad u had a swell B-day Serge!

Amy said...

Imagine if you would have stayed in Russia... you would most likely have been "Sergey Poberezhny,
The Alcoholic Bear Wrestler" today instead of a paranormal investigator/photographer!
But at least you didn't end up selling medical insurance in Madison, Wisconsin like that now infamous bear haha!
Hope your 24th birthday was a blast!
I ate some White Russian flavored ice cream in honor of you :D

Amy said...

PS: come check out this site Serg... it's all 100% about you!

http://www.myspace.com/whiterussianflavorfanclub

Erica said...

Hope you had a fun birthday!

I love your blogs. hehe. They make me laugh.

I also volunteer to wear a bear costume and wrestle with you if you want. I'm so not joking. ;)

Irina said...

Happy belated birthday!

By the way, 40 proof is only 20% alcohol. Us, Russians, drink 80 proof if not grain. :)

Igor said...

I will fight the bear for you, Serge if you get where you say you will be at 25. Good luck and best wishes!

White Russian said...

thank you all, thank you dad, and thank you irina, i went ahead and corrected the mistake.

Anonymous said...

WOW, wrestle a bear huh? I only had to wrestle myself out of my mom's womb!
I hope you had a great birthday, I hope you remember some of it!
I have a great russian drink, a skinny white russian bitch, Vanilla Stoli and diet coke! Yummy!
Shannon

Nic said...

At least that bear is getting his fill of cheese in madison wisconsin.

Shae said...

Love the Blogs.

Donna said...

Cheers friend!! Happy Birthday!

I'm a bear in the morning.....does that count? :)

Lauren said...

Wow. What a boy must do to be a man. lol. You men...

Seriously though...you've got the right idea about accomplishing goals. Life is short!

Good blog!

Live. Laugh. Love!

Erica said...

So apparently Sergey you want more bloggage love? LMAO! Dork. haha.

cindyscrazy said...

Just think of it this way...you wrestled the bear fiercely, he couldn't stand the full hour and a half! I think 11 minutes 32 seconds is good enough (in America, we like that phrase, it gets us by in as little effort as possible)

More Blogs!! I need the laughs :D

heather said...

haha. happy birthday serge. and good luck with that bear.

Ci Ci said...

Sergey! Just giving your blog love!!!


Happy belated birthday!

TTYL

-Ci Ci

Candice! :) said...

serge! where is your myspace?? i'm still waiting for that picture you took of me at katie's. lol not the ONE UP CLOSE OF MY FACE EITHER! the one of you and me. okay? okay. you do know who i am right? haha, if not.. http://www.myspace.com/theorkindork is my myspace.. that's me. anyway, happy birthday!!! i'm glad it was good! sorry i'm not responding to your blog, but i've been looking for you.. i want the picture. haha. and just to chat.. not just for the picture. geez. i'm not that bad of a person. alright, well i gotta jet. i hope you know who this is. i guess we'll see. :) later man.

said...

ps: was that enough love for you?? :)

Christine said...

Oh how I wish I could be 24 again... I'd even take 25. Hope you had a wonderful birthday!

Anonymous said...

Hi Sergey, I'm showing some blogage love, I just dropped by to tell you how much I love the show, it's awesome. I can't wait for the second season! I like your work, You're a good writer, keep up your awesome work.
Thanks for letting me know about this site also because I need a place for more of my blogs. Could you do us P.S. fans a favor and get a my space page? Everyone's on my page but you, you need to be on there too. I saw that you also have Adam Duritz of The Counting Crows page "Down The Rabbit Hole" on here also. Did you see Private Sessions on A&E yesterday?? That whole interview with Adam was awesome! The songs they performed and the new songs from Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings was so good! That's an awesome CD!!! Take care and have a great week!
Jenn
Oh yeah, I like your dog, he's a cutie!

blackoween said...

Too funny. :P
Hope you had a good b-day.

Catrina said...

We used to have to drink powdered milk in Alaska, it kind of tastes like, wrestling a bear, but not as cool.

Erin said...

Aww Sergey, you're so awesome. The girl's right though, 40 proof is weak lol. I hope you had a great birthday and you get to do all you want to do. Obviously, I don't know you personally, but you seem to be an incredibly talented and intelligent individual with mad amounts of charisma. Being 31 years of age, I just want to give you one word of advice....enjoy your youth as much as you possibly can. You can message me anytime***

Erin said...

Oh yea, to message me ... my myspace page is www.myspace.com/kandyflyp . Also, my yahoo im is xspacegurlx. Take care, dollface.

Grand_Duchess_Marina said...

Aww you still haven't wrestled a bear yet? It's OK, I don't think my papa is going to let my little brother Nikolai wrestle a bear and he is already 14. I have a Siberian Tiger cub, if you want, you can come to Saint Petersburg and wrestle him. He is human friendly and he loves to play. I'm sure Tigger, wouldn't mind by letting you win. =)

Happy belated birthday!
Good Luck!

Marina

The Mystery Wranglers said...

Awesome,

This might be a bear in this video. We could try and hook you up.

Mert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wseUnqI20z0

Charlotte said...

Wrestling bears is over rated!
Now wrestling drunken leprechauns in kiddie pools full of jello...now that is talent!

Happy belated born day toots

Jenn said...

Happy Belated Birthday my dear! Hope all is well! I am not longer allowed in the Paranormal chatroom so if you would like to chat feel free to write me messages on my myspace www.myspace.com/jenn_mcgowan or jenn_mcgowan@yahoo.com

*just lisa* said...

Just don't wrestle the bear in the San Francisco Zoo. It might do them in. Loved the post. Happy Birthday! One thing: *Their, there, they're* Sorry, this is supposed to be blog love. - English Teacher :)

cindy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nick said...

once you hit the quarter century mark, it all goes down hill. :P enjoy it while you can!

Roosh said...

nice Madison reference, fucker.

White Russian said...

I LOVE WISCONSIN!

Orelinde_03 said...

Uh-oh....I think the word is out in the bear community that you're itching for a brawl.

My puppy Lola has her own blog,
http://lola-the-puppy.blogspot.com/

I haven't updated it in a few weeks, as I am a 'bad pet-mom', but will have to post some new pics of her.

lafalot82 said...

oh my, that was freakin hilarious! you sure do have a way with words! lol. keep the blogs coming.

~jen