So I Turned 24....

So I Turned 24…

“Nurse!” yelled the doctor as he stood their sweating; his hands shaking. He had asked her to retrieve something very crucial otherwise; one of his patients might not make it. “What was I thinking?” he muttered in to himself. He couldn’t let the patient know that he was starting to get nervous. The trembling hand, holding the needle, inched closer and closer, when all of sudden, the nurse burst through the door holding a bottle of Russia’s best, 40 80 Proof Vladimir Vodka. Everything was going to be ok.

The doctor took three swigs and preceded with the delivery. He poured a shot for the mother-to-be. She was getting a little cranky and needed something to calm her down. The father-to-be came prepared. He drank in the car while he was driving them to the hospital. The nurse took a baby bottle with warm milk and began to mix it, drop by drop with the vodka. This baby was going to be thirsty when he would come out of the womb.

This common misconception of a how Russian’s give birth is a false. The hospitals can’t afford to use real milk, so they use powdered milk instead.

Twenty four years later the baby is now writing this blog. He, of course, is no longer a baby, but he has yet to earn the title of being called a man. In Russia he would have wrestled a bear when he was 14. It was hard to find a bear to wrestle in America. My parents took me to the circus, after a failed attempt at the zoo, but things didn’t go as planned there either. Police were involved, but by the time they got there, I had only managed wrestle with the bear for a mere 11 minutes and 32 seconds, instead of the full hour and half that was needed. The bear came out alive, but not unscathed. He hobbled away with a broken paw and a chipped tooth. Embarrassed by the entire situation he now sells medical insurance in Madison, Wisconsin.

Life is too short and I need to start completing my goals. Mark my words, by the time I turn 25, I will have wrestled a bear.

Who is Xander?

I know it has been sometime since I have written on my blog, so I am going to make up for that with “cute” photos of Xander. Who is Xander? What are his goals, his dreams, his aspirations? What motivates him? Is it the milk bone that he gets when he sits? Why does it seem that cheddar cheese is like crack to him? Is that the power of cheese? We may never know, but I would like to think that these photos will help us take a closer look at the life of this, forever pup. Along with the photos, I will throw out some tips on how to get nice photos of your pets.

Tip # 8

It is important that you put your pet in its natural environment. Dogs are outside creatures. So taking a photo of your dog with “Lost” playing in the background on the family TV is not going to bring out the best from your pet. Taking your fish out of the aquarium won't help either.

Tip # 23

Sometimes a good action shot can really make your dog shine. Here I tied a piece of cheese to Xander’s tail and let him loose in the dog park. The tip is to carry some cheese with you at all time. Dogs love cheese.

Tip # 14

Getting down at the dog’s eye level can make a huge difference. Sometimes its good to get down on your hands and knees and pretend to be a dog. But don't pee on your neighbors bushes. Apparently you can get fined for doing that. But I think looking at the next photo, you will understand what I am talking about.

Tip #Q

Sometimes it is good to just take a step back.

Well folks, I think thats enough of Xander. Soon, he will be getting more pupularity then me. Get it? Many was that a cheesy joke. I will fix that with my last photo.

Chicks dig dogs with life vests.

Paranormal State: Behind the Scenes Collection

I have been posting a few of my photos that I took behind the scenes, during filming, on our message boards, but I decided I would put all of them together on my blog for all you folks to enjoy.

This post will be constantly updated till we run out of episodes. Enjoy. I am constantly playing around with photoshop regarding the borders, signatures and text. Sorry for the changes. It might get really crazy as we progress further on.

Night Photography Part 1

I would like you all to join me on a little journey of night photography. I only know what I have gathered from my experience, but I feel like there is more I am missing. Throughout my photographic adventures with my, Canon Powershot SD200, Canon Digital Rebel, and, newest of the three, Canon Powershot SD800 IS, I have gathered some pretty cool night shots.

The following photos were taken with my first camera, Canon SD200.
This was my first night photograph.



Taken on the roof of my car when I went out driving in the night.




And sometimes my night photographs....



would take my for one strange ride.



Another one of my firsts. Taken when I lived in Erie, PA.



People.




All those were a combination of luck and learning.

Now I would like to master using my Rebel for night photography. I think this weeks lesson will be all about the flash.

Sorry that this wasn't that funny. Read this joke I found as token of compensation:

"Invited to Dinner"

A girl asks her boyfriend, to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the counter, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack, or a family pack. "I'm really going to give it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist. "I intend to go for hours and hours." The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meet his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. 10 minutes passes and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious. " The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!!"